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Home / Clean Funny Jokes About Falling Down

Clean Funny Jokes About Falling Down

Dads are good at so many things, from teaching you how to ride a bike to showing you how to change a tire, and everything in between. They provide a reassuring hand to hold and a strong shoulder to cry on...all with that special sense of humor known as dad jokes. What's a dad joke, you ask? It's that groan-worthy, pun-laden, can't-help-but-laugh type of humor that dads are best at delivering. Sure, there are mom jokes and jokes for kids, but we just can't help but laugh at the one-liners from dear old dad.

Put these so-bad-they're-good best dad jokes of all time to use as Father's Day captions and put a smile on your old man's face this year. Of course, if you'd like to take a more sentimental route, we have plenty of meaningful dad quotes to choose from too.

Best Corny Dad Jokes

  • "I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered."
  • "My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward."
  • "Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?" "In case they get a hole in one!"
  • "Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it's a soap opera."
  • "What do a tick and the Eiffel Tower have in common?" "They're both Paris sites."
  • "What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?" "Sofishticated."
  • "How do you follow Will Smith in the snow?" "You follow the fresh prints."
  • "If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?" "Pilgrims."
  • "I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes. Turns out it was the refrigerator all along."
    dad joke
    • "What do you call a factory that makes okay products?" "A satisfactory."
    • "Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems."
    • "What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?" "Supplies!"
    • "Have you heard about the chocolate record player? It sounds pretty sweet."
    • "What did the ocean say to the beach?" "Nothing, it just waved."
    • "Why do seagulls fly over the ocean?" "Because if they flew over the bay, we'd call them bagels."
    • "I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know y."
    • "How does the moon cut his hair?" "Eclipse it."
    • "What did one wall say to the other?" "I'll meet you at the corner."
    • "What did the zero say to the eight?" "That belt looks good on you."
    • "A skeleton walks into a bar and says, 'Hey, bartender. I'll have one beer and a mop.'"
    • "Where do fruits go on vacation?" "Pear-is!"
    • "I asked my dog what's two minus two. He said nothing."
    • "What did Baby Corn say to Mama Corn?" "Where's Pop Corn?"
    • "What's the best thing about Switzerland?" "I don't know, but the flag is a big plus."
    • "What does a sprinter eat before a race?" "Nothing, they fast!"
    • "Where do you learn to make a banana split?" "Sundae school."
    • "What has more letters than the alphabet?" "The post office!"
    • "Dad, did you get a haircut?" "No, I got them all cut!"
    • "What do you call a poor Santa Claus?" "St. Nickel-less."
    • "I got carded at a liquor store, and my Blockbuster card accidentally fell out. The cashier said never mind."
    • "Where do boats go when they're sick?" "To the boat doc."
    • "I don't trust those trees. They seem kind of shady."
    • "My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right!"
    • "How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut."
    • "Why don't eggs tell jokes? They'd crack each other up."
    • "I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something."
    • "What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows."
    • "Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I'm not going to spread it!"
    • "Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired."
    • "What did one hat say to the other?" "Stay here! I'm going on ahead."
    • "Why did Billy get fired from the banana factory? He kept throwing away the bent ones."
      dad joke
      • "Dad, can you put my shoes on?" "No, I don't think they'll fit me."
      • "Why can't a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot."
      • "What does a lemon say when it answers the phone?" "Yellow!"
      • "This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in."
      • "What kind of car does an egg drive?" "A yolkswagen."
      • "Dad, can you put the cat out?" "I didn't know it was on fire."
      • "How do you make 7 even?" "Take away the s."
      • "How does a taco say grace?" "Lettuce pray."
      • "What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y."
      • "Why didn't the skeleton climb the mountain?" "It didn't have the guts."
      • "What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum?" "A meltdown."
      • "How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles."
      • "I have a joke about chemistry, but I don't think it will get a reaction."
      • "What concert costs just 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback!"
      • "What does a bee use to brush its hair?" "A honeycomb!"
      • "How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it."
      • "Why did the math book look so sad? Because of all of its problems!"
      • "What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese."
      • "My dad told me a joke about boxing. I guess I missed the punch line."
      • "What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers!"
      • "How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together."
      • "How did Harry Potter get down the hill?" "Walking. JK! Rowling."

        Best One-Liner Dad Jokes

        • "I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now."
        • "A guy walks into a bar...and he was disqualified from the limbo contest."
        • "You think swimming with sharks is expensive? Swimming with sharks cost me an arm and a leg."
        • "When two vegans get in an argument, is it still called a beef?"
        • "I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I'll let you know..."
        • "Do you wanna box for your leftovers?" "No, but I'll wrestle you for them."
        • "That car looks nice but the muffler seems exhausted."
        • "Shout out to my fingers. I can count on all of them."
          dad joke
          • "If a child refuses to nap, are they guilty of resisting a rest?"
          • "What country's capital is growing the fastest?" "Ireland. Every day it's Dublin."
          • "I once had a dream I was floating in an ocean of orange soda. It was more of a fanta sea."
          • "Did you know corduroy pillows are in style? They're making headlines."
          • "Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's okay, he woke up."
          • "A cheeseburger walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Sorry, we don't serve food here.'"
          • "I once got fired from a canned juice company. Apparently I couldn't concentrate."
          • "I used to play piano by ear. Now I use my hands."
          • "Have you ever tried to catch a fog? I tried yesterday but I mist."
          • "I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it."
          • "Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field."
          • "I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless."
          • "How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!"
          • "I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!"
          • "Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke? He won the 'no-bell' prize."
            dad joke
            • "I've got a great joke about construction, but I'm still working on it."
            • "I used to hate facial hair...but then it grew on me."
            • "I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner—it was just gathering dust!"
            • "I had a neck brace fitted years ago and I've never looked back since."
            • "You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine."
            • "What's brown and sticky? A stick."
            • "Why can't you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom? Because the 'P' is silent."
            • "What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? An irrelephant."
            • "What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk."
            • "I like telling Dad jokes. Sometimes he laughs!"
            • "What's the best smelling insect?" "A deodor-ant."
            • "I used to be a personal trainer. Then I gave my too weak notice."
            • "Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head!"
            • "If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?"
            • "I ordered a chicken and an egg online. I'll let you know."
            • "It takes guts to be an organ donor."
            • "If you see a crime at an Apple Store, does that make you an iWitness?"
            • "I'm so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed!"
            • "I was going to tell a time-traveling joke, but you guys didn't like it."

              Best Dad Joke Puns

              • "What do you call a fake noodle?" "An impasta."
              • "What do you call a belt made of watches?" "A waist of time."
              • "What happens when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street?" "Traffic jam."
              • "What do you call two monkeys that share an Amazon account?" "Prime mates."
              • "What do you call a pony with a sore throat?" "A little hoarse."
              • "Where do math teachers go on vacation?" "Times Square."
              • "Whenever I try to eat healthy, a chocolate bar looks at me and Snickers."
              • "What does garlic do when it gets hot?" "It takes its cloves off."
              • "What's a robot's favorite snack?" "Computer chips."
              • "How much does it cost Santa to park his sleigh?" "Nothing, it's on the house."
              • "Mountains aren't just funny. They're hill areas."
                dad joke
                • "What do clouds wear?" "Thunderwear."
                • "Why are piggy banks so wise?" "They're filled with common cents."
                • "Why is Peter Pan always flying?" "He neverlands."
                • "How do you get a good price on a sled?" "You have toboggan."
                • "How can you tell if a tree is a dogwood tree?" "By its bark."
                • "I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me."
                • "It's inappropriate to make a 'dad joke' if you're not a dad. It's a faux pa."
                • "What do you call a hot dog on wheels?" "Fast food!"
                • "Where do young trees go to learn?" "Elementree school."
                • "Did you hear about the circus fire? It was in tents."
                • "Can February March? No, but April May!"
                • "How do lawyers say goodbye? We'll be suing ya!"
                • "Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind—it's tearable."
                • "What's the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament? Live stream."
                • "Spring is here! I got so excited I wet my plants."
                • "I could tell a joke about pizza, but it's a little cheesy."
                  dad jokes
                  • "Don't trust atoms. They make up everything!"
                  • "When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent."
                  • "I wouldn't buy anything with velcro. It's a total rip-off."
                  • "What's an astronaut's favorite part of a computer? The space bar."
                  • "I don't play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I'm just doing it for kicks!"
                  • "Why are elevator jokes so classic and good? They work on many levels."
                  • "Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use a honeycomb."
                  • "What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta."
                  • "Which state has the most streets? Rhode Island."
                  • "What did the coffee report to the police? A mugging."
                  • "What did the fish say when he hit the wall? Dam."
                  • "Is this pool safe for diving? It deep ends."
                  • "If you see a crime happen at the Apple store, what does it make you?" "An iWitness."

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                    Source: https://www.countryliving.com/life/a27452412/best-dad-jokes/